You will be told what you are to do.
In the readings this Sunday there are accounts
of two of the most important moments in the history of the Church and therefore
in the history of the world. The Conversion of St. Paul and, as we might call
it, the repentance of St. Peter are arguably the most important events in the history
of the Church, save only the life and death and resurrection of Jesus Christ himself.
Something of their importance can be seen from
the fact that on June 29th the Church celebrates the Solemnity of
St. and St. Paul together, their principal feast, and there is an old custom
that whenever one of them is celebrated, the other must be commemorated also.
But their significance is not merely that of
great men, historically important, but of ordinary men who were converted,
redeemed and saved by Jesus and as such they speak to every Christian in a most
intimate and personal sort of way. The way God dealt with them being very much
the way he deals with each of us.
St. Paul’s conversion is obviously the more
dramatic of the two.
Saul the persecutor of the Church and so the
persecutor of Christ is knocked off his high horse, as he goes to extend his
persecution of Christians to Damascus.
Jesus speaks to him: I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting; but rise and
enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.” Blinded, he has to
lead around and cared for by a Christian and he fasts for three days. He is
given by the Lord the great task of the conversion of the Gentiles. The scales
fall from his eyes and he is baptized.
For those who insist that conversion must
involve Jesus hitting you in the head with a two-by-four St. Paul is your man.
His conversion is sudden, devastating, and gut-wrenching. There is no doubt
that it can happen that way and when it does it is for a reason.
Saul before he was Paul exhibited self-confidence.
He was so sure of himself that he took it upon himself to extend the
persecution of Christians to Damascus; it was his idea not the High Priest’s. The
fear of Ananias at least implies that with Saul it was personal, a matter of
conviction that this was what God wanted and he – Saul – was the man to do it.
The only way to deal with that is just the way
Jesus deals with Paul: “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit
before a fall.” If Saul is to become Paul, he has to be knocked down, blinded,
lose his way, be led by another, and made to suffer, as he has made others suffered. So it often
must be with Christian converts and so it may be with us as well.
St. Peter’s meeting with Jesus by the sea shore is
another story and perhaps a more familiar one. Unlike Saul Peter has no confidence, he is
disillusioned with Jesus and disgusted with himself. Those three denials
weighed upon him and so many promises seemed broken. “I will make you fishers
of men”. “Upon this rock I will build my Church”. “I, when I am lifted up, will
draw all men to myself”. “This is my Body”. “This is my Blood”. So he is ready
to go back to plain old fishing of fish and try to forget the whole nightmare.
The
remedy for this is not a broken heart – Peter’s heart is already broken; the remedy
for this is to remember. Jesus will not
let him forget just as he will not let us forget.
Jesus meets Peter and the Sons of Zebedee as he first met them on the shore of Lake Galilee, here named the Sea
of Tiberias, but the same place and
renews the promise to the fishers of men:
‘"Cast the net on the right side of the
boat, and you will find some." So they cast it, and now they were not able
to haul it in, for the quantity of fish’.
“It is the Lord” the beloved disciple cries not
only because of the venue but because it is only Jesus who can bring the bounty, as
he multiplied the bread and the fish to feed the 5,ooo. The bounty of fish but
also the bounty of souls.
“It is Lord” because the promise of the
Eucharist is renewed: Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them just as
in the upper room.
But for Peter the coming of the Risen Lord is at
best a mixed blessing: the shame and guilt of his denials remain. There on the
seashore just as in the courtyard of the high priest, is a fire: “Peter followed at a distance and when they
had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together,
Peter sat down with them. A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight.
"This man was with him." But he denied it. "Woman, I don't know
him," he said.”
But Jesus asks Peter three times: “Simon, do you
love me?” and three times Peter affirms the one he had denied and Simon becomes
again Peter just as Saul becomes Paul. Like Paul Peter will be led by another
and go where he does not wish to go.
As with Paul so with Peter and so it may be with
us.
In any case to be saved by Jesus means to be
saved for a reason. With Paul he is to be a chosen instrument to carry the name
of Jesus before the Gentiles and kings and the sons of Israel. With Peter it is
that the Good Shepherd’s sheep may be
tended and feed.
So it is with us. The most important question is
not “have you been saved?” but “what have you been saved for?” Have you figured
it out yet?
You will be told what you are to do.
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